


Trapped in Your Orbit

by Snapdragon83



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-12 19:25:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13553967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snapdragon83/pseuds/Snapdragon83
Summary: Kurt and Jane face the fallout from their lies as Roman resurfaces to create more havoc. Post 3x11.





	1. Chapter 1

Her daughter was alive.

Jane couldn’t contain the elation that welled up within her as she awoke the next morning and caught sight of Avery still sleeping in her hospital bed. She’d stayed the night in the uncomfortable chair that was a requisite fixture of every hospital room, half convinced that if she left this would all prove to be a cruel dream, but the dawning of a new day somehow cemented her new reality.

She was a mom. Albeit to a grown daughter who disliked and distrusted her, but none of that mattered. Avery might ultimately choose to have nothing to do with her, but even if Jane could never win her love, or even her respect, she would protect her with her last breath, if need be.

And those protective instincts were on full display as Kurt arrived shortly before Avery was discharged to escort them to the NYO. “Why are you taking her to an interrogation room?” she demanded as he opened the door and motioned them inside. “Avery has done nothing wrong. She’s a victim here.”

“Don’t look at me like that,” Kurt said sharply as Jane glared daggers at him. “I don’t call the shots here anymore, in case you’ve forgotten. If you have an issue with Reade’s decision, take it up with him.”

Jane bit back the angry retort on the tip of her tongue as she caught sight of Avery looking nervously from one to the other. “Oh, believe me, I will. And I’m staying with her the entire time. The second this interview takes a direction I don’t like, I’m shutting it down and calling a lawyer.”

Kurt bit back the urge to remind Jane that the FBI—and he—weren’t the enemy. He couldn’t fault her for protecting her child. Avery was the only family she had left. And he hoped for both their sakes that they were able to get past Roman’s lies and manipulation and forge a relationship.

Jane lost no time in voicing her objections to Reade, and Kurt was relieved when he acquiesced and agreed to allow him to question Avery in the conference room. Avery would be much more likely to be forthcoming in the more relaxed atmosphere. “Why did you convince us that you were dead?” he asked as soon as they’d all taken their seats at the table.

Avery’s eyes flew to Kurt’s in shocked disbelief. “You . . . you thought I was _dead?”_

“I thought I killed you,” Kurt confessed. “When I went to confront Max, he and his men started shooting, and I returned fire. I thought I saw Max duck behind a curtain behind me, so I shot him, only . . .”

“Only it was me,” Avery finished softly. She offered Kurt a sad smile and started to reach out a hand to him in comfort before thinking better of it. “God, I’m sorry. That must have been so awful for you.”

Kurt let out a shuddering breath as Avery’s kindness eased his heartache slightly. “I’m so thankful you’re alive and here with us now.” He mustered up a semblance of a smile for her. “So if you weren’t a part of the plan to fake your death, why did you meet with Max?”

“Roman wanted to talk to him, to find out why he’d met with Jane recently, but he was afraid if you found out about his meeting with Max, you wouldn’t come to Berlin.” Avery looked down at her hands. “So I set up the meeting for him. Ironic, huh? I basically arranged my own ‘murder’ and kidnapping.”

“So why did you agree to help Roman in the first place?” Jane demanded.

“Jane,” Kurt said softly as Avery stiffened at the censure in her mother’s tone.

“No, it’s a fair question,” Avery said coolly. She turned to face Jane. “I helped Roman for Kurt’s sake. He told me how you duped Kurt into falling in love with you and then abandoned him, just like you did me, and how Kurt had given up his job and his family and was spending all his time and money searching for you. Roman said that you’d poisoned Kurt’s mind against him, but he was hoping hearing my story would open his eyes to what you really were.”

Jane’s eyes filled with tears at the contempt in her daughter’s voice. “I didn’t abandon you, Avery, I _swear_ it. Shepherd stole you from me, just like I told you.”

“Really?” Avery asked skeptically. “How do you know that? I thought all your memories had been erased.”

“They have, but Roman told me that—” Jane stopped abruptly as she realized the trap she had just walked into, but the damage was already done.

“So I shouldn’t believe anything Roman says, but you can take what he says at face value?” Avery sneered. “I may be young, but I’m not stupid. Roman was a total stranger to me, so I researched everything he told me. A handwriting expert confirmed it was your signature on my adoption papers, and even if that were a forgery, you never reported me kidnapped. I have a really hard time believing that a mother whose child had been stolen from her wouldn’t use every available resource to get her baby back. And if Shepherd is the monster you say she is, how could you go off to the Navy the minute you turned eighteen and leave Roman to fend for himself with her? You abandoned me, you abandoned him, and you abandoned Kurt.”

Jane’s tears flowed unchecked down her cheeks as she let her daughter have her say. “I wish I had the memories to explain to you why I handled things the way I did. I’ve made mistakes, Avery, and I’d give anything to go back and do things differently, but I can’t change the past. But I’m here now, and I want more than anything to have a relationship with you. You don’t have to see me as a mother, but I’d like us to at least be friends.”

“ _Friends,”_ Avery muttered. “Right.”

“Just give it a chance,” Kurt encouraged her. “Judge Jane on her own merits, not by what Roman has told you. We’ve arranged a safehouse for the two of you nearby, so that will give you an opportunity to get to know one another.”

Avery’s gaze sharpened. “So you and Jane aren’t back together then?” She’d suspected that from the sadness in his eyes whenever he looked at Jane.

Kurt swallowed hard. “No.” He avoided meeting Jane’s eyes, but he could feel her hot gaze boring into him as he tried unsuccessfully to come up with the right words to explain their situation. The last thing he wanted was for Avery to feel like she was in any way the cause of their breakup.

“Good,” Avery said. “In that case, I’d like to stay with you. If that’s not an option, I’ll find a place, but I am damn well not staying with someone I have no reason to like or trust just because she’s biologically related to me.”

“Fine,” Kurt said as Jane opened her mouth to argue, shooting her a look that mercifully shut her up before she could say something that made the situation worse. “You can stay with me on two conditions.”

“Name them,” Avery said immediately.

“First, you share with the FBI every detail of your interactions with Roman and answer any questions we have regarding that. I believe Reade may even want you to take a polygraph. You pass that, and I’ll take you home with me. Fail it, and you go to the safehouse with Jane as originally planned.”

“Fair enough,” Avery agreed. “And the second?”

“You share a meal with your mother at least three days a week. I understand why you might not want to jump right into living with Jane, given everything you’ve been through, but you should judge her on her own merits, Avery, not by hearsay, or her past mistakes, or her relationships with others. Just take things slow and give her a chance. That’s all I’m asking.”

Avery took a long moment to consider that before nodding reluctantly. “All right. I suppose that’s fair.”

“Good.” Kurt gave her shoulder a quick squeeze as he rose. “Agent Zapata will escort you to an interrogation room and conduct the interview. Would you like something to eat or drink first?”

Avery shook her head. “No. I just want to get this over with.”

“Okay, then.” Kurt opened the door and motioned for Zapata to come collect Avery, and when he turned back, Jane was glaring at him furiously. He made sure the door was firmly closed before resuming his seat. The last thing he needed right now was for his coworkers to become privy to his marital problems because they overheard him and Jane fighting. “Out with it, Jane. What did I do wrong this time?”

“You . . . you should have corrected Avery when she told us what Roman said about what I did to you,” Jane spat. “I can’t believe that you just sat there and let her continue to think that.” She took a deep breath to try to calm her raging temper. “Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t want you to come with me to Berlin, but I am grateful for your assistance. But Avery is _my_ daughter. She belongs with _me.”_ And if he’d said no, Avery would have had no choice but to come stay with her.

“You’re right,” Kurt said evenly. “She does. But forcing her to do so isn’t the answer. And telling her she’s wrong about you isn’t going to help either. She’ll have to see that for herself. Which is why I made her meeting with you regularly a condition of staying with me. You’re taking her decision personally, but she’s not choosing you over me, not really. We got to know each other a little in Berlin, and after everything she’s been through, I think she just needed the comfort of a familiar face. And when she’s ready to listen, I will explain the truth to her. Believe me, the last thing I want is to be caught between you two indefinitely.”

Jane nodded as Kurt’s words cut through the icy knot of fear that had settled in her chest at Avery’s perceived rejection. “I’ll try to be patient. And . . . thanks again for helping me to get her back.”

“No thanks necessary,” Kurt told her. “Protecting innocents is my job, Jane. And there’s nothing I wouldn’t have done to get your daughter back safe and sound.” He glanced at his watch. “I’ve got some paperwork I need to catch up on, but I’ll make sure Avery says good night to you before we leave. Have a nice day.”

He exited without a backwards glance before Jane could formulate a response.


	2. Chapter 2

Kurt was as good as his word, and Jane looked up when a shadow fell across her desk shortly after four to find her daughter standing there. “Avery!” she exclaimed as she leaped to her feet. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Avery said stiffly, taking a step back when Jane looked as if she might move to hug her. “So, umm . . . Kurt said he’ll be ready to go soon, so I came to say good night.”

“Sit,” Jane urged, motioning to the chair across from her desk. “Talk to me a few minutes.”

Avery reluctantly took a seat, and silence stretched between them. She glanced at the papers scattered across Jane’s desk. “What are you working on?”

“Oh, uh . . . I thought I’d see if I could crack another one of my tattoos, but I was too distracted to accomplish much today.” Jane took a deep breath and tried honesty. “I’ve been sitting here thinking how thankful I am to have my daughter back in my life and trying to figure out how I can make things right between us.”

“I already agreed to give you a chance,” Avery shot back. “It’s not me you should be worrying about. You should have been trying to figure out how to fix your _marriage._ Unless you don’t care about that anymore.”

Jane bit back the angry retort that automatically sprang to her lips. Avery was just trying to needle her to see if what Roman had told her was true. “I still love Kurt, but that’s all I’m going to say on the subject at this point. Our marriage is our business, Avery.”

“Right.” Avery stood as she saw Kurt standing by the elevator. “I’d say good luck with that, but I’m sure you’ll screw it up just like you have everything else. See you around . . . _Mom.”_ She rolled her eyes as she walked off.

Jane sucked in a breath at the contempt in Avery’s voice as she uttered the name Jane had dreamed of hearing ever since she learned she had a daughter. God, she wished she’d shot Roman when she had the chance. She trailed after Avery and paused a few feet from the elevators, nodding to her husband. “Kurt.”

“Jane. Have a good night,” Kurt said softly as Avery impatiently punched the button for the ground floor multiple times, and the doors began to slide closed.

Jane stayed rooted in place until long after Avery had disappeared from view. “You going to stand there until they reappear in the morning?” Zapata asked as she approached. “Come on, Jane. Check out of your hotel and come stay at my place. We’ll have a few drinks, and talk about everything—or nothing. Whatever you want.”

Jane hesitated for a moment, but the offer was too tempting to resist. She was tired of being alone. And maybe Tasha would have some perspective on recent events that would help her find her way forward. “Sounds good. I’ll pack up my stuff and be at your place in about an hour.”

She made it to Zapata’s apartment in just over half that, even with a quick stop at a liquor store to pick up some vegan beer, but she was halfway through her second bottle before she dropped the small talk. “Avery hates me.”

“Avery hates the you she thinks she knows,” Tasha corrected. “That will change once she gets to know you. Give her time, Jane.”

“I just . . . I feel like time is the one thing I don’t have right now,” Jane admitted. “Roman is still out there, and we don’t know his intentions toward Avery. And I’m forced to sit on the sidelines while a man I can’t even trust to tell me the truth is watching over my daughter.”

Zapata took a swig of her beer. “You should be thanking your lucky stars that until your daughter trusts you enough to watch over her, Kurt Weller is doing it for you. That man would lay down his life for her without a second’s hesitation. Whatever differences you’re having right now, surely you don’t doubt that.

Jane gazed down into her beer for a long moment before she gave an almost imperceptible nod.

“As for his lying to you about Avery’s supposed death . . .” Zapata hesitated. “I’m not discounting how wrong that was, and you have every right to be upset, but as awful as it was, he did it because he loved you so much that he couldn’t bear to see you hurt, or to lose you again. In the few days you were grieving Avery’s ‘loss,’ did you ever once stop to consider how agonizing it must have been for Kurt to be the cause of that and to know that he had not only taken the life of your daughter, but that doing so would probably cause him to lose you too, when he found you again? Do you have any idea at all what it was like for him all those months you were apart?”

Jane looked away as she recalled the pain in Kurt’s voice as he confessed to killing her daughter, the anguish in his eyes as he’d recounted the sequence of events to her. The desperation in his voice as he’d admitted losing her the first time had nearly destroyed him and all but begged her not to leave him again. A tear slid down her cheek as the ice around her heart began to thaw. “Tell me.”

“I was the first person Weller called after you left,” Tasha told Jane. “He sounded . . . distraught, wrecked. He knew you were going to try to remove the bounty on your head on your own, and he was terrified that you would get yourself killed without backup. He asked me to use CIA resources to try to find you while he did the same at the FBI, and he came to see me in person about a week later when his searches turned up nothing. He didn’t look like he’d been eating or sleeping, and . . .” She glanced away briefly at the memory. “I’ll never forget the first words out of his mouth when he saw me. He said, ‘I have to find her, Tasha. She means more to me than life itself, and I can’t bear the thought that she might get herself killed and her body dumped somewhere no one will ever find it. I can’t live with the not knowing, not again. Not with _Jane.’”_

Tears streamed down Jane’s face, and she wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the agony coursing through her. “I never meant to hurt Kurt. I didn’t—I don’t—want to cause him a moment of heartache. But how am I ever supposed to trust him again after he kept something like this from me?”

“I think it’s safe to say he’ll never keep so much as a speeding ticket from you again,” Zapata wisecracked. She sobered at the look Jane shot her. “Sorry. Look, I know Kurt made a serious mistake, but after everything you’ve been through together and all you mean to one another, doesn’t he deserve one more chance? I’m not saying you just sweep this under the rug and go back to the way things were, but . . . everyone is entitled to one mistake, right?”

 _She’s more than one mistake._ Jane’s words to Kurt about Mayfair flashed through her mind, and she closed her eyes as she recalled the entirety of that conversation. _If it’s forgivable, you forgive her._ She sucked in a breath as she reopened her eyes. The question for her now was . . . Was what Kurt had done forgivable to her?

“And I know that this is no reason to stay together,” Zapata continued, “but this whole thing was just another ploy by Roman to split the two of you up, and I hate the thought of him winning. You should at least talk to Kurt, before it’s too late.”

“I’m not sure it isn’t already too late,” Jane confessed hoarsely. “Kurt is really angry at me now as well.” It was all she could do to force the next words past her suddenly dry lips. “Clem and I . . .” She couldn’t go on, but she could see Zapata understood.

“You had an _affair?”_ Tasha asked in disbelief. She blew out a breath. “Oh, man.” No wonder Weller had looked like a kicked puppy since returning from Berlin.

“It wasn’t an affair,” Jane said defensively. She could see by Zapata’s face that she disagreed, and she hastened to explain. “As far as I knew at the time, Kurt and I were over for good, and . . . I was lonely, Tasha. And it was one night, that’s all. Just one night.”

Zapata opened her mouth to respond, but shut it just as abruptly. “What?” Jane asked. “Say whatever it is you’re thinking.”

“Look, Jane . . .” Zapata hesitated. “You and Kurt are both my friends, and the last thing I’m about to do is take sides in your marital issues, but . . . it does seem kind of hypocritical that you’ve been raking him over the coals for keeping a secret that could affect your marriage when you’ve been doing the same thing. And it may not seem like cheating to you, but I doubt Kurt feels the same. I’m sure it’s as big a deal to him as his keeping the truth about Avery was to you.”

She could see by Jane’s face that she was genuinely considering that, and she took a deep breath before continuing. “I admit I may be somewhat biased in Kurt’s favor because I saw what he was going through while you were gone, but like I said, you’re both my friends, so if you ever want to talk about the time you were away . . . know I’m here to listen, okay? I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you as well.”

“Thanks,” Jane choked out. “That means a lot, Tasha. And thank you for giving me a place to stay. I really didn’t want to be alone tonight.”

Zapata pulled her into a quick hug. “That’s what friends are for. Now . . . what do you say we have another beer, and drool over Sam Heughan in _Outlander?_ We can start at the beginning if you want, but I highly recommend just skipping ahead to the wedding night.”

Jane couldn’t restrain her chuckle as her friend’s eyes glazed over at the memory, and she acceded to her friend’s suggestion.

The color that rose in her cheeks as she watched was not from the onscreen wedding night, however, but the memories it evoked of her own.


	3. Chapter 3

The look of longing on Jane’s face as he’d left the NYO with her daughter wrenched Kurt’s heart. “So, kiddo,” he asked to distract himself once they were in his SUV, “anything in particular you’d like me to make you for dinner?”

Avery glanced over at him with a hopeful expression that was so like Jane’s it sent another pang through his heart. “Could we just pick something up from McDonald’s? I’d kill for a burger and fries and a chocolate shake. I haven’t had those in _months.”_

“Sure,” he said easily as he turned the vehicle in that direction. He supposed he’d pick up something for himself as well, though he’d been looking forward to the distraction of cooking. Anything to avoid thinking about the rabbit hole he’d just fallen into.

They drove back to his apartment in silence, and Avery didn’t speak again until she’d downed nearly half her burger. “So . . . you and Jane . . . is it over for good?” She read the truth in Kurt’s eyes before he could hide it. “I’m sorry. Was it . . . was it because of me?”

“No,” Kurt assured her immediately. “When a marriage breaks down, it’s nobody’s fault but the people in it. And in this case, it was mine.”

“But you love Jane,” Avery said in confusion. “I can see it in your eyes every time you look at her. And you spent eighteen months and every dime you had searching for her. How can it be your fault?”

“It’s . . . complicated, Avery.” And the last thing Kurt wanted to do was say something that would bias her against Jane any further. “I’ve made mistakes that have hurt your mother badly, and sometimes . . . sometimes love just isn’t enough to fix that. Which is why it’s so important that you give her a chance. She needs you now, more than ever. You’re all she has left in this world.”

“Lucky me,” Avery muttered. Her gaze drifted to Kurt’s left hand where his wedding ring still resided, and she started to ask him if he shouldn’t reconsider and give it one more shot, but the look he shot her told her in no uncertain terms the conversation was over.

Avery’s look hadn’t gone unnoticed, and once he’d gotten her settled for the night, Kurt took a seat on the edge of the bed he would be sleeping in alone from this point forward and contemplated the band still on his ring finger, the last tangible reminder of a love he’d thought was strong enough to endure any trials life threw at them.

He should have known better.

With a muttered curse to mask the pain in his heart, he quickly twisted it off and tossed it into the bedside drawer alongside Jane’s, slamming it shut before he could give in to the urge to put it back on a finger that felt frighteningly bare without it. Continuing to wear it would just be a denial of what he knew in his heart to be true: his marriage was over.

Even if he would continue to love his wife until he took his last breath, just as he’d vowed.

He slept only fitfully that night, but he put on a brave face for Avery as he cooked them breakfast in the morning. “Anything you’d like to pick up on the way to keep you occupied today?” he asked as they prepared to head back to the NYO.

“You mean like a coloring book or a video game?” Avery teased.

Kurt couldn’t help but chuckle. “Smartass. I was thinking more along the lines of a book to read or . . . Do you like to draw?”

“Yeah, I . . .” Avery paused abruptly. “Let me guess. I inherited that talent from Jane.”

“Your mom’s quite an artist,” Kurt commented as he motioned to one of Jane’s sketches on the far wall. “That’s the Rialto Bridge in Venice. She drew that on our first vacation together, shortly before I . . .”

“Before you what?” Avery asked when it became clear that Kurt wasn’t going to continue.

“Before I proposed to her,” Kurt forced out. He took a deep breath, suddenly desperate to escape the apartment and all the memories of Jane that were crowding in on him. “We should go. Don’t want to be late to work because I stopped to pick you up a coloring book.”

Avery’s laugh was so like Jane’s that it sent another pang through his heart as he shooed her out the door and locked up. Instead of getting her the coloring book he’d teased, he stopped at a nearby art supply store and picked up a sketch pad and the brand of graphite pencils Jane preferred. He also got her a set of artist-grade colored pencils. “Here,” he said, handing her the bag after he’d paid. “You can draw your own pictures to color.”

Avery grinned. “I think I like you, Kurt Weller. I may have to insist on visitation rights to you in the divorce.”

“Pretty sure that’s not how it works,” Kurt grinned back with the first genuine smile he had been able to muster in days before he turned serious. “But if you ever need a friend . . . someone to lend a hand or listen to you . . . know I’m always available, okay?”

“Thanks,” Avery said with heartfelt gratitude. “I have a feeling I’ll be taking you up on that sooner rather than later. Do I really have to go out to lunch with Jane _today?”_

“Yeah, kiddo,” Kurt said firmly. “You do. You promised to give Jane a chance, and I promise it won’t be as bad as you think. The first time will be the hardest. And you can vent to me tonight about anything you need to.”

“Do you . . .” Avery hesitated. “Do you really believe her story that I was stolen from her? I mean, she didn’t report me kidnapped. And the signature on the adoption papers . . .”

“Is a flawless forgery done by the best man in the world at helping people disappear,” Kurt interrupted. “He admitted as much, not just to Jane, but to me. I promise you, Avery, your mother did _not_ abandon you.”

“Then why didn’t she speak out when I was kidnapped?” Avery demanded in frustration. “She should have had a nurse contact the police as soon as she realized I was gone, if she couldn’t do it herself.”

“I don’t know why she didn’t,” Kurt admitted. “I suspect we’ll never know for certain, unless Jane recovers her memories, but given what I know of Shepherd, it wouldn’t surprise me a bit to learn that she bought off the medical staff caring for you and Jane. Or threatened you or Roman if Jane didn’t keep her mouth shut. I know Jane, and I know she would have moved heaven and earth to get you back if there had been any way to do that without endangering you or him.”

Kurt’s confidence caused Avery’s own certainty to waver, but her doubts came back full force as she sat down across from Jane at the restaurant they had agreed on. She knew now that Roman had been using her, but that didn’t mean that everything he had told her was a lie. He’d made it clear that Kurt would unquestioningly believe in Jane’s innocence, and she’d seen that for herself, so how could she take his words at face value?

“So, you like Chinese?” Jane asked once the waiter had taken their orders and then winced. That was a stupid question, given where they were sitting.

Avery took pity on her. “I love Asian cuisine, Italian, Mexican . . . pretty much anything, really. I’m not a picky eater.”

“You should have Kurt make you his Thai curry sometime,” Jane commented. “It was one of my favorite meals of his before I turned vegan.”

“You’re vegan?” Avery wrinkled her nose in a look of comical disgust. “Now I’m really glad I decided to stay with Kurt.”

Jane took a deep breath and tried not to take Avery’s comment personally. “I thought you weren’t a picky eater,” she said lightly.

Avery had braced herself for a sharp retort, but she relaxed slightly at Jane’s easy acceptance of her comment. “I’m not—but I definitely love my meat. I’m not giving it up for anything or anyone.”

“You won’t have to,” Jane assured her. “When you decide to come live with me, I’ll be more than happy to fix you whatever you want. You can ask Kurt if you don’t believe me. I fixed him steaks on occasion after I returned.”

Avery’s gaze sharpened. “So you guys got back together and then broke up again? _Why?”_

“Avery . . .”

“Tell me,” Avery insisted. “Tell me, or I’m walking out of here right now. Kurt said I had to give you a chance, but there’s no point if you won’t be honest with me.”

“Kurt lied to me, okay?” Jane blurted out bitterly. “He kept the news of your existence and his role in your de—your supposed death a secret for months after my return. I don’t know that he would have ever come clean about it if I hadn’t found out about you from the forger who arranged your adoption.”

“If you think that, you really don’t know Kurt at all,” Avery retorted. “I’ve barely begun to get to know him, and I can see how much this is tearing him up inside. And I’m not dead, so all’s well that ends well, right?”

“It’s not that easy, Avery,” Jane said regretfully. “I never thought Kurt was the type of man to keep a secret of this magnitude from me. I don’t know how I’m supposed to forgive him for that, or how I’ll ever trust him again.”

“So . . .” Avery took a moment to gather her thoughts. “Let me see if I have this right. You’re asking me to build a relationship with you, in spite of the fact you kept a secret which had a huge impact on my life, when by your own admission, such a thing makes a person both untrustworthy and unforgivable?”

Jane felt her daughter’s words like a blow to the gut. “Avery . . . listen to me . . .”

“No, _you_ listen to _me,”_ Avery said in a hard voice. “The only reason I’m sitting here talking to you right now is because of Kurt Weller. And yes, his keeping the truth from you was wrong, but in my book, your keeping the news of my kidnapping a secret was way worse. You’re an adult; I was a defenseless baby you had no way of knowing was being properly cared for. So you want me to show you mercy and let you be a part of my life going forward? Prove that you’re worth it by extending the same to someone else who was put in an impossible situation by _your family.”_

Jane stared up at her daughter as Avery leaped to her feet, trying desperately to find the words to respond, but struck speechless by her daughter’s logic. She was still trying to formulate a reply when Avery announce that she had lost her appetite and would walk back to the FBI, and stormed out.

She continued to stare toward the door for several seconds after her daughter’s back had disappeared from view before she regained the presence of mind to throw down some bills to cover the cost of their meal and go after her. Only one thought kept running through her mind on a repeating loop as she hurried to catch up with Avery.

It was time to talk to Kurt.


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt wasn’t in the office when Jane and Avery returned, and none of the team knew where he’d gone, apart from having a meeting nearby. It was over an hour before he returned, and Jane could barely contain her impatience as she watched the minutes tick by on the clock, but apart from a perfunctory nod when he stepped off the elevator, Kurt barely acknowledged her.

He headed straight to the locker room, and by the time she entered, he had shrugged out of his dress shirt and was poised to pull a t-shirt over his head. Her gaze swept over him out of habit, and she frowned when she noticed the large bruise on his side, a souvenir of Berlin, no doubt. She automatically opened her mouth to offer to put something on it, but caught herself just in the nick of time.

Kurt froze when he saw Jane standing there, and heat flared in his eyes at her appreciative perusal for an instant before he yanked his t-shirt on with more haste than finesse. “Something I can help you with, Jane?”

“We need to talk,” Jane said hesitantly. “Is now a good time?”

“Not really.” Kurt grabbed his workout pants out of his locker and moved around the corner to exchange his dress slacks for them. “I’m heading down to the gym for a workout, and then I promised Avery I’d leave early to take her to the mall to get some new clothes and . . . stuff.”

“ _Please,_ Kurt,” Jane pleaded.

Kurt’s jaw clenched for a moment before he reluctantly nodded. “Fine. Come on.” He led the way to the visitor’s waiting room, closing the door so they would have some privacy, and took a seat at the table. Jane dropped into the chair across from him, and he leaned back as he waited for her to speak.

Now that she was finally seated across from Kurt, Jane had no idea how to begin. “How are you doing, Kurt?” she blurted. “You look like you’ve lost weight.”

Kurt raised an eyebrow. “Did you really bring me in here to discuss my eating habits?”

“No. Sorry. I just . . .” Jane took a deep breath. “I thought it was time to talk about . . . us.” Kurt scrubbed a hand across his jaw as he looked at her, and she felt her heart sink as she realized his wedding band was absent. “You took off your wedding ring?”

“Why not?” Kurt asked. “You did. Our marriage is pretty much a formality at this point, I think you’ll agree.”

“No!” Jane interrupted fiercely. “I _don’t.”_

Kurt continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “I met with a lawyer today, and given the state’s residency requirements, it will be about ten months yet before we can file for divorce, but—”

Jane felt her heart drop to her toes as the bottom officially fell out of her world. “You spoke to a divorce attorney? Without talking to me first?”

Kurt regarded her levelly. “You haven’t exactly been in a talking mood lately, Jane. I honestly didn’t think you’d care.” He’d thought she would be glad he was taking the first step in dissolving their union.

“Well, I do,” Jane fired back. Her eyes were glistening with tears as she held Kurt’s gaze. “I know things have been rocky lately, and I’ve said some horrible things to you, and I’m so, so sorry, but—”

“I’m not divorcing you because of any of the things you’ve said recently,” Kurt hastened to assure Jane gently. “You were grieving the loss of a daughter you thought you’d never get to meet because of my actions, and I kept that from you. You have nothing to apologize for on that score, Jane. I can’t even imagine how I’d react if . . .” He swallowed hard.

“Then why?” Jane asked desperately. “Now that everything’s out in the open, why not give us another chance to do things right this time? Is it . . . is it because of Clem? Zapata said you’d see it as cheating, but I wasn’t in a relationship with him, Kurt. It was one night when I thought we were over for good, and I was just so tired of being alone. Just one night, I swear it.”

“It’s not because you slept with Clem,” Kurt said tiredly. “That’s just a symptom of the larger problem here, Jane.”

It was all Jane could do to force her next words past stiff lips. “Which is?”

“Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, and ours . . . ours is anything but. I thought when I first got you back that I could just ignore our time apart and go back to the way things were, but that never would have worked, even if I hadn’t lied about Avery and you hadn’t had the affair with Clem, because you never respected me as an equal.”

“Of course, I did,” Jane argued immediately. “I _do.”_

Kurt simply shook his head. “If you had, you never would have slipped away like a thief in the night after we talked things over and agreed that I would go with you. I’ve been telling myself all this time that you did it because you loved me so much that you were trying to protect me, but if you loved me as much as I love you, you never would have left me to wonder all those months if you were alive or dead, and if I would ever know what happened to you. You think you were the only one lonely enough to contemplate having an affair? Let me tell you, you weren’t. There was more than one night when I was drinking in some hotel bar in yet another strange city when I was tempted. But I didn’t because I vowed to stay true to you, not until a few miles or months separated us, Jane, but until _death parted us._ And the hell of it is, neither one of us would even have been tempted if you had just honored your vow for us to face whatever came, _for better or worse,_ together.”

Tears streamed down Jane’s cheeks at the raw anguish in Kurt’s voice as he decimated the lies she had been telling herself with a few carefully thought out sentences. “You’re right,” she choked out. “I had no right to leave you behind the way I did. But you’re wrong that I did it because I didn’t love you as much as I should have. There’s so much I don’t remember about my life, but I _know_ you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I wanted to shelter you from the consequences of my past misdeeds. The thought that you might get killed by an unseen enemy because of your proximity to me . . . that would have been more than I could bear, Kurt.”

“And the not knowing where, or how, you were . . . that was almost more than _I_ could bear,” Kurt retorted. “Even more so after I thought I killed Avery, because I knew then that even if I got you back, sooner or later I would most likely lose you again. I prayed that I was wrong, that no matter how angry and hurt you were when you learned the truth, you would stay and fight for our marriage, but . . .” He swallowed hard as he shook his head. “I can’t keep watching you walk away when the going gets tough, Jane. If you love me as much as you say you do, please . . . don’t ask that of me anymore.”

“All right,” Jane conceded after a moment, because, really, what else could she say? What right did she have to ask anything more of Kurt when he had already given so much? “If you’re sure this is what you want . . .”

“I am,” Kurt said with finality, and Jane’s eyes blurred with tears as he rose and walked away from her, allowing them to fall unchecked once she heard the door close behind him.

Zapata found her in there fifteen minutes later. “Jane?”

“Go away,” Jane sniffed, doing her best to keep her tearstained face carefully averted, to no avail.

Tasha’s heart ached as she took the seat next to Jane and pulled her friend into her arms. “I take it your talk with Kurt did not go well.”

“No.” Jane drew a shuddering breath. “He wants a divorce.” She haltingly recounted the gist of their conversation. “I begged him to reconsider, but he . . . he said he can’t trust me to stick around when the going gets tough any longer, so . . . so I agreed to give him one.”

“So your solution to Kurt accusing you of not being willing to fight for your marriage is to not do just that?” Zapata asked incredulously.

Jane winced at Zapata’s flawless logic. “It’s not that simple, Tasha. I’ve hurt him so much, when all he’s ever done is love me. He deserves to move on from me and find someone he can be truly happy with.”

“If you think Weller will ever be happy without you, you’re mad as a hatter,” Zapata said bluntly. “And don’t forget he’s made his share of mistakes as well. You’re both culpable in this mess, but you’re the only one who can fix it. Weller’s been let down by so many people in his life that he’s loved that he’s running scared, but whether he’s willing to admit it or not, he _needs_ you more than ever. You’re the only woman who’s ever been able to get inside his walls, and you’re the only woman who ever will. You say you still love him? Then fight for him, dammit. _Fight,_ Jane!”

Jane’s eyes grew steely with resolve as she considered Zapata’s words. “I will. I _will,_ Tasha.” She paused. “But how do I do that when Kurt isn’t willing to have anything to do with me?”

Zapata took a moment to consider. “Just . . . keep putting yourself in his orbit, and don’t take it personally when he pushes you away. The two of you were friends long before you acted on the attraction between you, so work on rebuilding that first of all. Kurt’s as good as admitted that he’s still head over heels in love with you, so I’m sure the romance will follow soon enough.”

They kicked around ideas about how to rebuild the friendship for the next half hour, until Zapata’s phone rang. “Hey, Reade. What’s u— _What?”_ She glanced over at Jane with a foreboding expression, and for the second time in an hour, Jane felt her heart sink into her toes.

“What is it, Tasha? What’s wrong?” Jane asked frantically as her friend hung up the phone.

“Jane . . .” Zapata paused for a second, but there was simply no easy way to break this news. “Kurt’s been shot. And Avery is missing.”


End file.
